Common Sense
Attributed to Lewis Napper, a Jackson,
Mississippi computer programmer. He didn't expect his
essay -- a tart 11-point list of "rights" Americans don't have
-- to become an Internet legend.
'We the sensible people of the
United States, in an attempt to help everyone get
along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'
along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'
ARTICLE
I:
I:
You do not
have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire
them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE
II:
II:
You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE
III:
III:
You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful;
do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE
IV:
IV:
You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
couch potatoes.
ARTICLE
V:
V:
You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.
ARTICLE
VI:
VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't
be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.
ARTICLE
VII:
VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away
in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a
life of leisure.
ARTICLE
VIII:
VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us
sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities
of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE
IX:
IX:
You do not have the right to happiness . Being an
American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights.
ARTICLE
X:
X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't
care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it and USE it!
Lastly
ARTICLE
XI:
XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's
history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true
God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any
faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD
WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable
with it.
If
you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about
time common sense is allowed to flourish.
Sensible people of the United
States must speak out
because if you do not, who will?
because if you do not, who will?
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