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Thursday, May 17, 2012
Unicorn meat...from a product description
No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite
Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and
marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach
the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters
at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures
through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage
each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised
entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled
and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like
osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very
similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds
delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a
world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty
Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the
importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned
Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open
your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced
into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the
unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just
bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.
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