What’s the Best Way to Make a Resolution Stick?
Establish A Buddy System; Create a
“No-Choice Category”
Resolutions
are easier to stick to when you create a “no-choice category” of actions that
you simply won’t do, such as eating dessert. Dave Klug
By Heidi Mitchell in the Wall Street Journal
It is the end of the year—a time
when millions of American make promises to improve their lives and themselves.
According to a recent Marist Poll, 59 % of people kept their New Year
resolutions in 2014. So what is it that makes a resolution stick? One expert,
Judith Beck, Ph.D. , president of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior
Therapy in Philadelphia and a clinical associate professor of psychology at the
University of Pennsylvania, explains the benefits of a buddy system and why
vague goals fail.
For
All Those Procrastinators
New Year’s resolutions tend to
encompass big commitments that people have put off. “Usually these are things
that are difficult to do, otherwise we would have done them already,” explains
Dr. Beck.
The most common January goals focus
on weight loss and better general health, but nearly all of them fit into one
of seven categories: physical health, organization, relationships, how to spend
leisure time, spirituality, creativity and work. “Some people want to get back
to the way they used to be, and are committed to making a full-fledged effort,”
Dr. Beck says of the goal-setters. “Others want to expand themselves and feel
more fulfilled in life.”
The
Stickiness Problem
As any visit to a gym in January
will attest, most people can persist with a resolution for a few weeks. But by
February, that drive is often depleted and the treadmills go empty. “There is
some research to show that people who start trying to lose weight because
they’ve had a medical scare are more successful than people who do it for
another reason,” explains Dr. Beck. In other words, “Often the resolution will
stick if the stakes are very high.”
Typically, though, people fail to
stick to their annual goals because the resolutions are too demanding, vague or
unrealistic. “There can also be external factors. If your objective is to spend
more time with family, you may need the cooperation of your teenagers to plan
more outings, for example,” Dr. Beck says.
Learning
to Cope
When people feel unmotivated or
discouraged, says Dr. Beck, they have unhelpful thoughts that interfere with
working toward their goal. “So you need to predict in advance what thoughts you
might have, when you’re feeling more gung-ho—like now, before you’ve even
started—and write them down,” says the cognitive-behavioral therapist. “Nobody
is taught how to get back on track when they make a mistake,” she says, but a
person can take control of sabotaging thoughts by reading those responses
daily.
Dr. Beck also advises clients to
imagine themselves in a year or five years, both having reached their goals and
establishing them as habits and having failed.
“No-Choice”
Category
Most people have some positive
behaviors that they might not consistently want to do but they decide to always
do anyway. Dr. Beck calls this the “no-choice category,” and places putting on
a seat belt or getting dressed for work in this column. “We do them without
struggle because we don’t give ourselves a choice,” she says. “It’s the choice
that makes sticking to a resolution so difficult.” She suggests putting
positive behaviors on a mental “no-choice” list and reaffirm them daily. “If
you never give yourself the option to eat dessert, you’ll never have the
struggle,” she says.
Don’t
Wait to Motivate
Dr. Beck has witnessed firsthand
that taking action sparks motivation. “Once you actually get to the gym, the
first minute may be difficult, but it almost always gets easier,” she says. She
also says that the best way to stick to a resolution is to have an
accountability system, whether that is an app or a partner, she says.
When you do put on those gym
clothes, she adds, you need to congratulate yourself. “Constant affirmation is
essential to success,” says Dr. Beck.
No comments:
Post a Comment